Found in Blue
Carolina Aponte
USA-Canada / Artist
In March 2020, we were told to stay home. A virus that we have all come to know well by now has arrived, a strange wave sweeping us all in confinement, alone and together all at once.
The streets of Montreal lay frozen, a new silence of uncertainty is in the air, a kind of anxiety sets into our homes. Winter still lingers here leaving us yet another month of cold weather, as Montrealers we are somewhat used to staying indoors for months on end but this time it will be longer, stricter, perhaps even lonelier for some and more crowded for others.
I understand the importance of staying home and being safe not only for the people I love but also for those more vulnerable than me. I also understand that being completely locked up inside after months of winter confinement can affect my mental health, there must be a fair compromise to all of this, a safe solution and a healthier approach to the matter. I am lucky, my cosy apartment is just a five minute walk from the river. I decide to make my daily walks into a necessary ritual, a way of cleansing my worries, of being closer to the water, the sky, these shades of blue outside calling me towards its calm and beautiful presence. These beckoning blues envelop my view, my eyes relax, my mind settles, my pace eases as I reconnect.
Walking has always been a form of meditation for me, a way to slow down and pay attention. It’s a mental cleansing and a form of therapy that allows me the space and time to observe and appreciate what I have, to be grateful and breathe in all the life around me. One thing I have learned from these recent walks is that slowing down and walking can be a form of resistance and hope, a way to rediscover ourselves in a new light, a way to pay closer attention to our vulnerability, to our humanity and place within this blue planet. I will always be grateful for these moments of beauty in life that call to my attention the colours inside and all around me, the ultimate sense of belonging where it can all be found.
It's March,
the air is cold and crisp,
Montreal frozen and still.
I find myself drawn
to wander outside,
to breathe-in,
to escape the blue hues from inside
blaring at me,
the white noise
keeping me there,
hooked.
My daily walks by the river,
rituals of resistance,
love,
light,
hope.
Most of my worries
strangely united with yours
but as soon as I arrive
to that place I know
we all belong
my eyes rest,
my mind calms,
a new peace
found in the clear blue
I want to stay here
I want to be found
in this blue.
Montreal, CA